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Lieberman Exploring New Ways to Be a Dick {circumcised, of course}Sets Bar High for Assholic-nessWASHINGTON The Borowitz Report
As the healthcare reform bill makes its way through the U.S. Senate, Sen. Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.) said today that he was "actively exploring" new ways to be as big a dick as humanly possible.
For Sen. Lieberman, whose reputation for assholic behavior is legendary, striving to be an even bigger douche than usual represents a formidable challenge, Senate insiders say.
But if the Connecticut senator found the burden of being the most egregious asshat in the Senate daunting in the least he did not show it in a brief meeting with reporters in the Capitol rotunda.
"I promised the people of Connecticut that I was going to be the biggest shitheel I could be, and as God is my witness, that's what I'm going to do," he said.
Elsewhere, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin said that her audiobook would be read by Barney the Dinosaur.

OMG, SIMPLY AMAZING
African Pygmy Falcon
HERE
OceanI came to Northern California in the Summer 1982. I felt in love with Mendocino. This is my dreamland. This beauty overwhelmed me. Nature is too great to copy. I’ve stayed with it, I am here. I am a part of it. I'm a woman, a mother and an artist. I want to try to paint this beauty through my heart on to paper.-Mariko IrieMore HERE
coneflowerDETAILSBotanical Name: Echinacea 'Harvest Moon' eh-kih-NAY-shah Common Name: Coneflower Synonyms: 'Matthew Saul' Genus: EchinaceaThis is one of the exceptional Big Sky™ series (E. paradoxa crossed with E. purpurea), bearing fragrant, earthy-gold petals and golden orange central cones. These hybrids have all inherited the large green leaves, strong branching stems, wide flower petals, and profuse blooming tendencies of E. purpurea.Noteworthy characteristics: Attracts butterflies, bees, and birds in winter if cones are left on plant.Care: Grow in deep, well-drained soil in full sun. It is tolerant of drought, heat, humidity, and poor soils. Cut back stems to promote more flowering and reduce excessive self-seeding. Deadheading prolongs flowering.Propagation: Divide clumps in spring every 3 to 4 years. Take root cuttings from autumn to early winter.Problems: Leaf miners, powdery mildew, bacterial spots, and gray mold. Vine weevils may feed on roots.
MORE DETAILS
Height: 1 ft. to 3 ft.
Spread: 1 ft. to 3 ft.
Growth Habit: Clumps
Light: Full Sun to Part Shade
Moisture: Dry to Medium
Tolerance: Drought Tolerant
Bloom Time: Late summer through fall
Hardiness Zones: 4-9
drudgery should not be ugly
{Jamie Drake}
THERE are 40 something days left in 2009, which means it is just about time to commence the beloved and enduring parlor game known as “Name That Decade.”You know the rules — coin a pithy, reductive phrase that somehow encapsulates the multitude of events, trends, triumphs and calamities of the past 10 years. If you can also rope in some of the big personalities and consumer obsessions, that’s a bonus.More HERE
After reviewing this story I can safely say that CNN is sooooooo fucking relevant that I will never miss a single second of it . . . ever. Never. I swear.And if you listen closely which isn't easy to do, Anderson I am not gay Cooper makes reference to the young lady's societal status as trailer trash. Snicker, snicker.So it is probably safe to assume that AMBER does not hold a prominent spot on the Vanderbilt family tree. Breaking news HERE
from my polaroid file
Brooklyn 1966

The DonorHe resumed his pacing just outside the door furiously muttering to himself that this, as twice before, would be the end. The man inside the room lay motionless. His skin as gray as the walls that surrounded him. The son was curled uncomfortably in a chair nearby waking every so often to listen for the comforting rhythm of the breathing machine. She too paced outside his door but this time her steps were even more deliberate than before. At this place, her mutterings, born out of selfishness and self-possession, had become even more furious. Why, she asked, had death not come more quickly? This place would keep him alive forever, she moaned. She needed to move on and nothing less than death would resolve the problem. She needed absolution and death would bring that too. She would become the handsome widow who would mourn her way into their hearts.Finding a donor had proven elusive. Others had come and gone taking their new lives with them but he remained in each place only to wait another day and then another and another. As death drew closer she prayed hard for his demise but death would not come. She would make her peace with God later. HE would understand now as HE had understood before. She would be forgiven for her errant ways. She was special as always.They were constant companions outside his door. Though unbeknownst to each other, their goal was singular and strikingly similar. But death did not come and they cursed the machines that pumped life into the man. He lived on and waited with his son beside him. The seasons changed from spring to summer and the father and son drew closer as the days grew shorter. A donor would come whispered the son and all would be well.We all prayed for the man to live, if only to make her life even more miserable than it had been before. She did not deserve better. In fact, her deal with God was an illusion. A lie really, but that was her mess to clean up if she could. We didn’t care at all what happened to her so long as she was given a life sentence for her evil deeds.The whoosh of the gurney surprised her as she sat slumped in a hard wooden chair. The whirl of activity made him angry because it was clear that death would not come today. The lights were bright and then the darkness came and then it was light again. The man lives on with a gently used, but much needed piece of humanity. She lives on too with even less humanity than she had before.
At first, the half-hour television film The Passover seems to be one of those instructive seasonal documentaries. A Jewish family is sitting down to a typical Passover Seder. An announcer tells the story of the Exodus, the Jews' anguish in Egypt and their struggle to leave, and that terrible night the Angel of the Lord passed by the houses of the Jews to strike down the first-born sons of their Egyptian masters. On the traditional Seder table are the symbolic foods: the salt water and bitter herbs, reminders of the time of bondage; the roasted lamb, recalling the paschal sacrifice on the eve of the Exodus; the mixture of apples, nuts, spices and wine, symbol of the mortar with which the Hebrews made bricks for Pharaoh. And of course, the three matzoth, which, suggests the narrator, "represent the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.More HERE{thanks Rob}
START HEREFROM A RABID AVID FOLLOWERI was thinking of getting a larger penis but there are several issues involved here. First, my current penis would develop, well, penis envy! And then the new penis would have to be fed as well as, if not more than, the current penis. Then there is the question of clothing and housing 2 penises within the same pair of pants. Of course I could get a suit with 2 pair of pants.... This is all so confusing.....MY TAKEGosh, I never thought my post would cause such an existential crisis. So sorry. Really, I mean it. Your fine. Now go out and get yourself a Hummer and drive it around the block a few times. I can guarantee this will make you feel much better about your size.
Or you can get one of these from AMAZON. Ouchy.
Even if you aren't a baseball fan, this is FUNNY especially for those of us who have experienced the pleasures of LSD. Present company excluded or included. Whatever. Just watch it and laugh.
HERE
RIP DOCK 1945-2008
{thanks Lois}
I'M HORRIFIED
Town & Country December 2009 issueThe title lists the phone number for the Michael Kors flagship store in NYC. They are selling REAL mink jackets for $8000 which is bad enough, but you can also get a Michael Kors mink beach towel for $13,200. OMGCan we shoot Michael Kors' teabagging ass instead of all those little minks? PETA should be on this guy like flies on shit.In this case I do not love the gays. SHAME ON YOU MICHAEL KORS.
CALL 212.452.4685 and RANT RANT RANT
Have some righteous indignation! Call today.
taking special ed classesWho needs turkey? Thanksgiving is an ideal time to test out new vegetarian recipes that could quickly become everyday favorites.I don't plan on cooking anything vegetarian or otherwise. It's PBJs all the way. I just liked the turkey picture. Why kill something so stupid looking? More HERE
works hard
works harder

I could not have made this up.
Draw your own conclusions. HERE
Cuphea is a multi-flowering plant that keeps blooming until frost.
Hummingbirds are attracted to the rich nectar in the flowers.
It prefers full sun.
This past summer I planted the Cuphea in pots and it bloomed the entire season.
Deer stare at it longingly from the other side of the gate. Through the bars so to speak.
Bambi is so tortured and I am so happy.
I hate the deer.
Medication is no longer necessary.
This is poetic justice.
A Palestinian man smuggles a sheep into Gaza from Egypt through a tunnel under the border Sunday. Because of Israel's blockade, some Gaza residents say they fear a shortage of sacrificial animals ahead of a Muslim holiday.
Palestinians Weigh U.N. Statehood Declaration
WSJ 11.16.09
RAMALLAH, West Bank -- Palestinian officials said Sunday they are considering a unilateral appeal for United Nations Security Council recognition of a state in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, separate from Israel.
The move is highly unlikely to progress in the international body, but it represents the latest sign of Palestinian frustration at the halting progress of U.S.-brokered peace efforts. . . . Blah, blah, blah.
And then this. . . .
Consent from Washington is unlikely. Any international recognition of a Palestinian unilateral declaration of statehood would essentially make Israel's control of the West Bank and East Jerusalem illegal under international law.
Israeli officials quickly denounced the suggestion. "There is no substitute for negotiations between Israel and the Palestinian Authority," Mr. Netanyahu said late Sunday. "Every unilateral path will only unravel the framework of agreements between us."
The article reeks of worthless blather.
The photo, on the other hand, speaks volumes.
The conclusion should be that there is absolutely no hope for PEACE in the Middle East.
Maybe we should all bang our collective American heads against the nearest brick wall. It would be far more productive.
Goat guy is not even considering peace as an option.
He's too busy smuggling and then sacrificing animals.