When Bernard Madoff was sentenced last week, Ruth Madoff, who has been married to him for nearly 50 years, issued a statement saying that she did not know of his fraud until just before his arrest. Several of the wives in the political marriages rocked by disclosures of infidelity, including Jenny Sanford, seemed to have been in the dark for years.Assuming these women didn’t know, were they particularly blinkered, or do these cases show the limits of knowing another person, even in the most intimate and long-term relationships? Or is this simply how partnerships are set up in this culture?
* Betsey Stevenson, University of Pennsylvania
* Marilyn Yalom, Clayman Institute for Gender Research
* Julie Metz, author, “Perfection”
* Julie Gottman, clinical psychologist
* Ruth Houston, Infidelity News and Views
All very interesting but I have my doubts about Ruth although I understand that she's trying to save herself from a fate similar to that of her her husband of 50 years. Jenny on the other hand appears to be a strong willed, self-assured woman who probably told Marky to go take a flying fuck on a rolling doughnut. She should dump him immediately and move on. She deserves better than a sex-crazed cheater with verbal diarrhea. I don't think she knew until he told her.
I think Silda Spitzer's behavior was appalling. I find the stand by your man thing in this situation absolutely horrifying and I think Silda probably did too. Another smart but obviously less self-assured woman who should have kicked Elliot's ass straight to the curb a long time ago. I think she knew, but looked the other way. She married power and money and became the Queen of Dee-Nile.
My own experiences in this area tell me that women generally KNOW. My ex-husband, a diabolical but weak minded, as in stupid, sociopath, cheated dozens of times during our 13 year marriage and I knew something was up (literally) more times than I care to remember. My point being that I am always skeptical when I hear about wives who didn't KNOW. I think we KNOW but choose to be clueless - like my ex's present wife.
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